The day I nearly died

The morning I left Croatia marked the beginning of one of the most horrible days of my life. Sleep deprived, and still drunk, Chels and I painstakingly made our way to Milan. I was semi-comatose at Split airport and had a incessant urge to spew all through take off, and then burst into tears when I turned the water on in our Milan apartment to have a shower and continued to sob in self pity for about half an hour for absolutely no reason.

The photo above is of the bush fires that were raging across some of the mountains in Split on our way to the airport.

Day 7: Omiš, Split

I woke up in Omiš on my last day in Croatia with a big ass mountain looming from the coastline.

On an expedition to find water, Chels and I decided to try and find the huge Fortica Starigrad at the top of said mountain. The day before, Duayne had said that every week he takes up a group of people at 8:30 in the morning. So we spontaneously decided to attempt to climb up to the fortress in our thongs, and without any idea where to go.

We got about halfway, I think. We had to turn back when it got close to midday because we were afraid the boat would leave without us, our feet were covered in dust (thongs are definitely not meant for hiking) and we had essentially turned into puddles of sweat.

1. Wizard who is actually the guy who first translated the Bible into Croatian.
2. Inez bartending in Split.

There's a great little group of bars in the old town of Split that our guide Duayne took us to (even though he wasn't supposed to). I have no idea where they were all hidden but if anyone manages to go please locate them on a map for me! The back room in Ghetto club was eerily lit and we drank absinthe poured for us by an evil pixie-looking girl sitting at a table in the centre of the room.

I was devastated that it was our last night in Croatia, but no one was leaving without with a bang.

In brief, no one slept. Chelsea and I went home 'early' i.e. got back to the boat at 3am and had an hour and a half's worth of 'sleep', then caught a shuttle bus to the airport at 5:30 to get an 8:00 plane to Milan.

These 8 days in Croatia, on the M/S Plomin with our very own busabout family, turned out to be one of the best weeks of my life and I hope I never stop missing the boat, the people and (in my opinion) one of the most beautiful countries in the world.

Day 6: Recovery, Pučišća

Today I woke up and found

• Inez in men's clothing, still drunk, traumatised by Adrian and Danny's stories and afraid to go back into her room.
• Willy bent over the side of the boat dry heaving after going out despite having a stomach bug.

Everyone spent the entire day immobile, under the sun.
It was the first time no one picked up a drink all day, not until at least after dinner during happy hour.

That night everyone dressed up as pirates and invaded a bar frequented by 16 to 18 year olds. Sadly this is the only photo I took that day..

I never want to leave.

Day 5: Sea, Makarska, Deep Club

Makarska was by far my favourite stop over the 8 days.

1. 2. Chuggin along on the M/S Plomin.
3. 4. Cute cheesy photos with our captain Luca courtesy of our guide Duayne.

The Croatian coastline is breathtaking, and nothing less. There's the water along the shore, crystal clear and blue. Then go inland a little while and you have huge rocky mountains that jut fiercly out of nowhere. It's spectacular, my brain failed to fully absorb it all while I was there and even now when I look back at photos, they never cease to impress me.

Above: Makarska by day.

Something happened that night in Makarska. Someone drugged our entire boat or something because everyone completely lost their minds. Just a forewarning.

The boys somehow decided that they would do a shit shirt night, and here are the results...

At the cocktail bar four out of the five people that took part in the beer bong competition were from our boat. The most impressive (and the only girl, watch above) was not only from our boat, but managed to skull every last drop (unlike everyone else).

1. Inez, Nisa and Claire-Ellen doing what girls with tits do best.
2. 3. 4. 5. Deep Club; rave in a cave. The coolest club I've ever seen, a literal club, in a cave.
6. 7. Mike on Josh's shoulders, before everyone lost their shirts.
8. 9. Just outside the club.
10. 11. Matty with Mike's shirt around his head.

At some point during the night, all the boys had their shirts ripped off. And when I say ripped off, I mean ripped into shreds. Poor Mark had his Topman shirt torn apart, but it then came in handy the next day for pirate night. Chels and I knew that a club in a cave would mean a lot of sweat so we wore our bikini tops, which resulted in our tops being taken off us. The next second someone else on the boat was dancing around topless with their arms around their chest, and I don't remember who it was and who took it off her (shows my state of inebriation) but it was around then, even a bit before, that I realised that the everyone on the M/S Plomin had gone completely loopy.

There was a complication with a creepy man following us all back to the boat and not leaving until Duayne told him to more or less fuck off (excuse my french). Other than that, it was hands down the best night out I'd ever had.

Day 4: Sea, Korčula

My Daily Routine:

Wake up, sunbake, lunch, sunbake, swim stop, sunbake, arrive at that days destination, explore city, dinner, happy hour, go out to a bar (or two), then a club, get home before the boat leaves, sleep, repeat.

1. 2. 3. The view from where we docked in Korčula.
4. The cabin......
5. 6. 7. Watching the sunset from Massimo cocktail bar. Not sure why I nearly always seem to pull a weird face when I have a photo taken of me. The turret was only accessible by climbing up a ladder so luckily we were all forewarned about wearing flash-proof clothing and yes, the view was breathtaking.

Had another 'quiet night' that night = went to two bars which were perfect for some table and pole dancing, although the guys were the ones hogging the pole which was recorded and projected live onto the wall opposite the bar. I'm pretty sure they enjoyed themselves a lot more than the girls who had a go, espcially the guy who dropped his pants and gave the entire crowd of people outside the bar and along the street a great view of him stark naked dancing front on toward the camera, hanging loose, and rubbing himself up against the pole having the time of his life.

Day 3: Dubrovnik, Revelin

All the photos above are from the walk along the old city wall. The old town is stunning, to say the least. It was bombed to pieces in 1991 when the Serbs tried to seize the city so pretty much all the buildings are only just over 20 years old because of the restorations since then.

Above: Inside the walls of the old city. Eating the most incredible peach I have ever tasted.

It was in Dubrovnik that I found the favourite thing that I've bought during my trip so far; the silver ring on my middle finger in the photo above. The city is well known for its jewelers who still make jewellery with ‘konavoske puce’ or ‘konavle’ buttons that were worn on traditional folk costumes. It seduced me through its glass case, Inez, Chels and I all ended up getting something and I've worn it everyday since then.

Celebrating the return of the Croatian water polo team from the Olympics with their gold medal. The players were HUGE but proportionate, so next to each other they looked like regular sized people but when they started mingling with the crowd I realised they were gigantic. We were lucky enough to witness their arrival just outside the entrance to the old city while our guide Duayne and I were taking Chels back to the boat because she felt too ill to come out and rumour had it that they were heading to Revelin, which is coincidently where we were going that night!

Revelin is the only place that parties on a Monday night so naturally.. that's where we went. 

Imagine a giant club in a fort with an endlessly high ceiling and cages for people to dance in with a security guard stationed at each platform who shakes the bars vigorously whenever a fifth person drunkenly clambers into the cage (only four are allowed in at a time) - the complete lack of amusement in their faces and the oblivious confusion of the people in the cages was hilarious to watch.

Imagine a guy dressed up like a cowboy but isn't actually meant to be dressed up as a cowboy that stands as still as a statue and then does weird jerky movements that are probably supposed to be too-cool-for-you dance moves but instead made him look like a cowboy trying to do the robot. Refer to above photo.

Imagine the crew; Luca, Antonija, Mario and Gloria, the people who have been driving, navigating, serving food and drink, cooking, cleaning for you, coming out to party with the entire boat and going all out and getting completely shitfaced, with you.

Imagine a guy on the boat (Willy), buying multiple drinks that looked like those giant slushies you used to buy at the easter show and handing them out like water. No idea why and how he had the money to churn them out at 150 kuna each, but we were all too drunk and happy to care. More on Willy later.

I could go on forever, but needless to say I had some good stories to tell Chels when i got home at 5:30 that morning.

and got a nice view of Dubrovnik waking up on a Tuesday morning.